feeling lost sad ????

haev you ever felt liek you just wanted to cry but the tears were not ready to fall yet? well my tears are ready:( i dont know what it could be maybe i am just really happy about tomorrow and praiz or just scared to see what can happen. i dont know i just know God has powerful things in mind. i just going to ball my eyes out tomorrow but i will make sure i am alone, i hate people to see my weakness! praiz tomorrow is like a church event me and a group of friends have together when worship,drama,lesson i cant wait/ also i dont do good alone just chiling at home by myself scares the crap out of me! i need to get over this. because when becca band gets big and goes on tour what will i do ( maybe i will be married by then lol) nope they are going places and i know it is going to be soon! God has a plan for her band!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for me i need to find his will for my life????? i want to know it so bad it kills me in side. i love so many things which one can it be to help his kingdom grow???????? i not know it bugs me well i am going to go so i can worship God so please pray for me love ya . it so hard being surrounding by people who have what you want:( i know i need to love my self but that my friend is so hard!!!!!!!!! love you i will keeep my head up i will !!!!!night guys

life today

funny today i am so tired and i need to go to bed! thats where i am goign soon lol! so me and becca was driving to take the kid she baby sits home and we were talking about stuff we need to do and places we ned to rent out! (which is can drive one person crazy) lol did you find the joke in that lol any how then out of no where we look and we're like what is that in the road (the on ramp we were on) it was a like a lazy boy chair it was so funny it was sky blue too. I was thinking God is so funny he knew we needed a laugh. Also i think i am really tired becasue i was just looking at my poems thinking about them and also i wrote some things down that was on my mind. So my yeah my mind is tired lol. also my hours at work is changeing everyday. i am going to start writing blogs more and poems once again !yes i can't wait i want god to speak through me so i hope these will be two ways he can! also friends start praying for me please or keep praying for me i want to write songs and things like that. i need to start playing guitar again i cant wait! well friends good night and God bless!!!!!!! p.s i love a challenge so mine to you is talk to someone and tell them something nice and tell them have a bless day and watch the smile on their face ! i did that tonight and the person was like thank you! after they already they told me to have a great night.so that was cool , welp friends have a blessed week. (yes i know your smiling ) love ya